Dynasty Warriors High
by TwilightVampire-Princess
Summary: Dynasty Warriors characters in modern day AND in High School. Complete with all the havocs, madness and romance that High School brings.
1. Meet the Cast!

A/N: Hi guys! I know it's been FOREVER but I'm back for a little while and I thought that I might as well upload something that I'd been working on for a long time. Hope you enjoy reading it as much I enjoyed writing it!

DW High

**Principal**: Yuan Shao (51)

**Teachers**:

Guan Yu – History (43)

Liu Bei – Math (44)

Pang Tong – Geography (41)

Cao Ren – Physics (42)

Pang De – Chemistry (39)

Xiahou Dun – Physical Education (33)

Xiahou Yuan – Football Coach (31)

Zhang Liao – French (36)

Huang Gai – Economics, Careers & Business Studies (47)

Dong Zhuo – Social Studies (53)

Zhang Jiao – Religious Education (50)

Zuo Ci – English Language (63)

Sima Yi – Philosophy (27)

Zhen Ji – Biology (24)

Cao Cao – Politics (45)

Cai Weng Ji – Art (25)

Zhuge Dan – Music (25)

Bao Sanniang – Drama (22)

**Seniors: (17-18)**

Ma Chao (17) – Head of Fencing Squad. Receives good grades in school (Bs). Liked by most people. Best friends with Zhao Yun. Plans to own a huge farm of thoroughbreds when he leaves school.  
Subjects Picked: English Language, History, ECBS, PE and Philosophy.

Zhang Fei (19) – On boxing team. Feared by many for his hot temper. Good friends with Lu Bu. Receives bad grades at school (Fs). Not very clever.  
Subjects Picked: PE, History, ECBS

Zhao Yun (18) – Valedictorian of the senior year. Adored by most. On the baseball team. Receives excellent grades at school (As). Wants to be a doctor when he leaves.  
Subjects: Chemistry, Biology, English Language, French, Geography

Cao Pi (17) – One of the 'pretty' boys. Spends most of the time admiring himself. Receives good grades at school because he is very clever (As and Bs).  
Subjects: Drama, Politics, Art, Biology, English Language

Dian Wei (18 ½ ) – Huge man who often scares the younger kids with his bald head and huge muscles. Receives below average grades at school (Ds and Es). On the boxing team and also in the football team.  
Subjects: PE, ECBS, Geography, History

Gan Ning (18) – Typical bad boy. Bunks off school a lot, likes to do his own thing. Receives bad grades at school (Fs and Us). Has been expelled from three schools in the past for fighting and bunking.  
Subjects: PE, Geography, Biology

Sun Ce (18) – Typical jock. Quarterback of the football squad. Captain of the basketball team. Nice guy but not very brainy. Receives below average grades (Ds and Es). Wants to go to sports college.  
Subjects: PE, Biology, Philosophy, Drama

Zhou Yu (18) – Very clever student but because he is best friends with one of the most popular boys in school, nobody thinks he is a geek or picks on him. receives excellent grades (As). Wants to be a lawyer when he leaves school.  
Subjects: English Language, Math, Politics, Philosophy, Biology

Lu Meng (18) – Good student, although quite serious at times. Gets along with most people. Head of the school paper. Receives good grades (As and Bs). Wants to be in the journalism career when he leaves college.  
Subjects: Politics, English Language, Physics, Math, Geography

Lu Bu (19 ½ ) – Bad bad boy. The school bully. Once you're 'okayed' by him, no one will try and pick on you again. Incredibly tough guy. Expert at brawling. Captain of the boxing team. Receives appalling grades at school (Us) because he does not want to try. Wants to be a professional wrestler or gangster when he is older.  
Subjects: PE, Geography, History

Taishi Ci (17) – A very serious young man who would rather spend time alone studying than with a big group of people socialising. He is in the basketball team and therefore he is respected by most. He receives good report cards (As and Bs).  
Subjects: Philosophy, Music, Biology, Math, History

Zhou Tai (18) – A gruff incredibly tall young man who all are wary with and whom no one dares make fun of. Known for his standoffish behaviour, he is good friends with Sun Quan. Receives average report cards (Cs).  
Subjects: Politics, ECBS, Geography, Chemistry, Biology

So…

History: Ma Chao, Taishi Ci, Dian Wei

Math: Zhou Yu, Lu Meng, Taishi Ci, Lu Xun

Geography: Zhao Yun, Dian Wei, Lu Meng, Zhou Tai

Physics: Lu Meng

Chemistry: Zhao Yun, Zhou Tai, Lu Xun

Physical Education: Ma Chao, Dian Wei, Gan Ning, Sun Ce, Zhang Fei, Lu Bu

French: Zhao Yun, Zhang He

Economics, Careers & Business Studies: Ma Chao, Zhang Fei, Dian Wei, Zhou Tai

Social Studies: All Seniors (1st Class = Ma Chao, Zhao Yun, Zhou Tai, Zhou Yu, Lu Meng, Dian Wei, Cao Pi)

(2nd class = Lu Bu, Zhang Fei, Sun Ce, Taishi Ci, Gan Ning, Zhang Fei)

Religious Education:All Seniors (1st class = Ma Chao, Dian Wei, Sun Ce, Zhao Yun, Taishi Ci, Zhang Fei)

(2nd class = Zhou Yu, Cao Pi, Gan Ning, Lu Meng,, Lu Bu)

English Language: Ma Chao, Zhao Yun, Cao Pi, Zhou Yu, Lu Meng, Lu Xun

Philosophy: Ma Chao, Sun Ce, Zhou Yu, Taishi Ci, Zhuge Liang

Biology: Zhao Yun, Cao Pi, Zhou Yu, Zhou Tai, Taishi Ci, Sun Quan, Zhuge Liang

Politics: Zhou Tai, Lu Meng, Cao Pi, Zhou Yu

**Juniors : (16-17)**

Sun Quan (16) – A nerd who focuses entirely on school work and envies his brother because he is nothing like him. He is sometimes picked on by some of the older kids but when his best friend is around, no one dare touch him. Receives good report cards (As and Bs).  
Subjects: Geography, Politics, Biology, Chemistry, Math

Ma Dai (16) – The school joker. Enjoys making fun of most things and people and he doesn't seem to scared of anybody. Quite an outsider. He loves art and spends most of his out of school time on collages he has built. Receives average report cards (Cs) but As in Art.  
Subjects: Art, Music, Drama, Biology, English Language

Yue Ying (17) – Young genius. Captain of the go team and the 'Mathletes'. Enjoys work greatly. Sometimes she longs to be more feminine like the cheerleading girls. Receives excellent grades (As). Best friends with Zhuge Liang, whom she has known almost all her life.  
Subjects: Art, Geography, Politics, Chemistry, English Language

Zhuge Liang (16) – Young genius. Excels in everything academic he attempts. Part of the go club, Mathletes and the science superstars. Receives excellent grades (As).  
Subjects: Physics, Biology, Politics, English Language, Philosophy

Xu Huang (17) – A quiet man. Part of the football team. Befriends people easily, due to his calm disposition. Receives average grades in school (Cs).  
Subjects: PE, English Language, Art, Math, ECBS

Xu Zhu (16) – A dopey overweight boy who loves to eat. Picked on by most people. Doesn't have a lot of friends. Receives below average grades at school.  
Subjects: Art, Philosophy, Music, History

Zhang He (17) – A incredibly homosexual boy who even dresses in feminine clothes for school. He is accepted by most because they have all known him since he was younger. He is good friends with Diao Chan, which means he is accepted by her boyfriend, Lu Bu. He receives pretty good grades (Bs and Cs).  
Subjects: Art, English Language, Drama, Philosophy, French

Ling Tong (17) – A real ladies man. He uses chicks like nobody would believe. He is in the basketball, go and fencing teams. He loathes Gan Ning with a passion. Receives average grades (Cs).  
Subjects: English Language, Geography, Biology, PE, Drama

Diao Chan (16) – A beautiful songstress who is adored by many. Known for always wearing beautiful pink dresses and for her gangster-esque boyfriend, Lu Bu, who is the school bully and who most people are afraid of but who treats her as gently as the rarest diamond. A bit of a loner. Receives good grades (As and Bs).  
Subjects: Music, Drama, Philosophy, Physics, English Language

Zhu Rong (17) – A bad girl who isn't scared of anyone. Known for insulting Lu Bu beyond belief when she caught him making fun of Xu Zhu. After that she was respected by him and the rest of the school. Receives slightly below average grades (Cs and Ds).  
Subjects: Drama, Biology, Geography, Politics

History: Xu Zhu, Zhang Fei, Lu Bu, Dian Wei

Math: Sun Quan, Xu Huang

Geography: Sun Quan, Zhu Rong, Ling Tong, Yue Ying, Gan Ning, Lu Bu, Zhang Fei

Physics: Diao Chan, Lu Meng, Zhuge Liang

Chemistry: Sun Quan, Yue Ying

Physical Education: Ling Tong, Xu Huang

Economics, Careers & Business Studies: Xu Huang

Social Studies: Everyone  
(1st class = Diao Chan, Ling Tong, Xu Huang, Yue Ying, Ma Dai)  
(2nd class = Zhuge Liang, Xu Zhu, Sun Quan, Zhang He, Zhu Rong)

Religious Education: Everyone  
(1st class = Zhuge Liang, Yue Ying, Xu Zhu, Diao Chan, Zhang He)  
(2nd class = Sun Quan, Xu Huang, Ling Tong, Zhu Rong, Ma Dai)

English Language: Diao Chan, Ling Tong, Zhang He, Xu Huang, Zhuge Liang, Yue Ying, Ma Dai

Philosophy: Diao Chan, Zhang He, Xu Zhu

Biology: Zhu Rong, Ling Tong, Ma Dai, Lu Bu, Gan Ning, Sun Ce

Politics: Sun Quan, Zhu Rong, Zhuge Liang, Yue Ying

Art: Cao Pi, Zhang He, Xu Zhu, Xu Huang, Yue Ying, Ma Dai

Music: Taishi Ci, Diao Chan, Xu Zhu, Ma Dai

Drama: Zhu Rong, Diao Chan, Ling Tong, Zhang He, Ma Dai

**Sophomores: (15-16)**

Jiang Wei (15) – A young incredibly talented young man who loves studying. Part of the go, Mathletes, science superstars and the Sudoku section of the school newspaper. Rather quiet, he looks up to Zhuge Liang immensely and listens to everything he and Yue Ying say. Receives excellent grades (As).  
Subjects: Politics, Philosophy, Physics, Biology, English Language

Sun Shang Xiang (15) – Typical tomboy and sporty girl. Captain of the netball and hockey team. Doesn't take any nonsense from anybody and is said to be a better fighter than her older brothers. Receives good grades (Bs).  
Subjects: PE, Philosophy, Drama, Music, Chemistry

Guan Ping (16) – A quiet and insightful boy who takes everything into consideration. Part of the swimming, fencing, go and hockey teams. Would do anything for childhood friend, Xing Cai. Receives very good grades (As and Bs).  
Subjects: Geography, History, Biology, PE, Chemistry

Da Qiao (16) – Head of the cheerleading squad. A sweet girl who always wants to take care of everybody. Girlfriend of head jock Sun Ce. Receives very good grades (As and Bs).  
Subjects: Philosophy, Music, Drama, Art, English Language

Lu Xun (16) – A young prodigy. Part of the go, Mathletes, science superstars and writes many of the school newspaper columns. Everyone comes to him for help with their homework and because of that, he is not picked on. receives excellent grades (As).  
Subjects: Math, Chemistry, English Language, Politics, ECBS

History: Guan Ping

Math

Geography: Guan Ping, Xing Cai

Physics

Chemistry: Guan Ping, Sun Shang Xiang

Physical Education: Guan Ping, Sun Shang Xiang

Football Coach

French

Economics, Careers & Business Studies: Lu Xun

Social Studies

Religious Education

English Language: Da Qiao, Jiang Wei, English Language

Philosophy: Da Qiao, Sun Shang Xiang, Jiang Wei, Xing Cai, Xiao Qiao

Biology: Guan Ping, Jiang Wei

Politics: Lu Xun, Jiang Wei, Xing Cai

Art:Da Qiao, Xiao Qiao

Drama: Da Qiao, Sun Shang Xiang, Xiao Qiao

Music: Da Qiao, Xing Cai, Sun Shang Xiang, Xiao Qiao

**Freshman: (14-15)**

Xiao Qiao (14) – Typical cheerleader. Very sweet but ditzy character. The girlfriend of head jock's best friend, Zhou Yu. Receives slightly below average grades (Cs and Ds).  
Subjects: Music, Drama, Philosophy, Art

Xing Cai (15) – A quiet and kind girl who is hardly noticed by many people. Good friends with Guan Ping. She secretly longs to get to know Zhao Yun, whom she is crazy about. Receives very good grades (As and Bs).  
Subjects: Philosophy, English Language, Music, Politics, Geography

**Lunchtime Seating Arrangements:**

**Table 1: **Sun Ce, Zhou Yu, Xiao Qiao, Da Qiao, Lu Meng, Sun Shang Xiang, Gan Ning

**Table 2: **Cao Pi, Ma Chao, Zhao Yun, Taishi Ci, Xu Huang, Ling Tong

**Table 3 : **Zhuge Liang, Yue Ying, Xing Cai, Guan Ping, Ma Dai

**Table 4 :** Sun Quan, Zhou Tai, Lu Xun

**Table 5 :** Zhu Rong, Xu Zhu

**Table 6 :** Zhang He, Diao Chan, Lu Bu (occasionally)

**Table 7 : **Lu Bu (occasionally), Zhang Fei, Dian Wei

**OTHERS:**

Wei Yan (34) – School Caretaker

Huang Zhong (69) – Janitor

Guo Huai (52) – Deputy Head

Meng Huo (27) - Gardener


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Sunday,  
Wu Manor  
(Sun Family Residence)**

Sun Shang Xiang gazed at her reflection in the mirror. What peered back at her was a lightly tanned girl, though the complexion was more to do with excessively being in the sun than from visiting the local tanning boutique. She saw jaw-length thick but slightly scruffy dark hair, huge green eyes and a slightly bemused expression on a fine-boned face. Mostly satisfied, Shang Xiang turned away, flopping onto her unmade bed. School started again tomorrow, fresh from the summer break. And she would be a Sophomore at last, instead of just an embarrassing Freshman.

She could hear her eldest brother Ce in his room next door, which he currently occupied with his two best friend's, Zhou Yu and Lu Meng. Sighing, Shang Xiang closed her eyes and imagined that instead of being in there with her brother, _he_ was in _here_, with her. They would shut the door so that no one would interrupt them and then he would gaze at her with his beautiful hazel eyes, gradually moving closer and closer to her waiting face, her waiting lips until…

"Kids, dinner's ready!"

Shang Xiang's eyes flew open at the familiar sound of her father's voice. She grumbled a little at being so rudely awoken from her perfect fantasy. Still, there was plenty of time for envisioning later on.

As she left her bedroom, she bumped into _him_ leaving her brother's room at the same time. His eyes were apologetic as his hand automatically reached out to steady her. Shang Xiang was well aware however, that her almost falling was less to do with the collision and more to do with the sudden close proximity of her secret crush.

"Sorry Shang Xiang," his usually serious lips curved into a slight smile. "Are you alright?"

Shang Xiang felt her cheeks flushing bright red from the direct conversation. Mentally, she slapped herself. Why did she always end up looking like a ridiculous goon in front of him? "I… I'm okay."

He nodded once, giving her a slightly larger smile. Shang Xiang almost fainted with pleasure. He was just so… perfect.

She watched him make his way down the staircase and toward the dining room, where she could already hear her father serving the meal he had cooked. She waited a few seconds to gather herself before following his path, trying hard to keep her breath even. He would realise that he loved her one day. And until then, he would continue to grace her dreams every night…

**Flower Avenue  
(Qiao Family Residence)**

Xiao Qiao's eyes were even wider than usual as she gazed upon the clothes she had laid out on the bed before her. She screamed quietly in frustration and was about to resort to 'out goes you' to decide when her elder sister entered their shared bedroom casually.

"What's wrong, Xiao?" Da wondered, her dark eyebrows furrowed in concern. "And why is your bed so untidy?"

Xiao exhaled a long due breath. "Because I _still_ don't know what to wear for my first day tomorrow! I have to make an impression you know, sis!"

Da chuckled at her younger sister's drama queen ways. "Just be yourself tomorrow, Xiao! How about your white shorts and the pink top? You know, the one with the rose motif on it?"

Xiao made a disapproving face at her elder sister's suggestion. She didn't want to look like a baby on her first day of High School! She wanted to stand out. She wanted people to know that Da wasn't the only sophisticated one in the family. "No way! It has to be something more spectacular than that! Something like-" Her eyes resembled lasers as they scanned the room, before finally settling on Da's tight lace dress, which was scarlet and fell to mid- thigh. Just. "Something like _that_!"

Da's eyes followed Xiao's path and when she realised what her younger sister had set her sights on she lifted her hands up in disapproval. "_No,_ Xiao, not that! You're _not_ wearing that to school tomorrow!"

Xiao scowled, her lips pouted in frustration. "Why _not_? It's perfect!"

"If having perverts trying to stick their slimy paws up your thighs is perfect, than you're right, Xiao. But I'll be damned if I let that happen. You're going to _have_ to choose something more suitable."

"But that's _so_ unfair!" Xiao screeched, tears of anger filling her eyes. "You can't be the _only_ pretty Qiao, Da! And you _can't_ tell me what to do, either! You're not mom!"

And with that, the younger Qiao sister stormed out of the room in a huff, slamming the bedroom door hard behind her.

Da groaned in anguish, flopping herself down onto her own bed. All she wanted to do was protect Xiao, since their mom wasn't around to do it anymore. But as usual she'd come over too bossy and upset the sensitive younger girl. Why couldn't she do anything right?

**A Random Back Alley,  
(Lu Bu – And Posse)**

Lu Bu inhaled from the spliff he was holding, feeling the weed relax all his muscles. He handed it over to Dian Wei after one last puff, feeling resentful that they hadn't purchased more. It just seemed to finish so quickly.

"So boss, seniors for another year, huh?" Zhang Fei grumbled, after inhaling from the almost finished hash. His thick fingers ran through his gristly beard, a factor that added to his scariness.

Lu Bu just snorted. School held no interest for him whatsoever. And it had been no surprise to anyone when the results of all the tests (two) he had taken the year before came back with matching grade U's. Unmarkable. He had been receiving the same grade for the past three years. But of course, with the amount of effort he put in for the lessons he had taken (i.e. none) what did anyone expect? Hell, the only reason he attended school now was because of the sports, his reputation and Diao Chan.

Diao Chan. Although he would never admit it, Lu Bu knew he was sort of… kinda… very in love with the beautiful songstress. Thank fuck she loved him back – and wasn't afraid to say it. Lu Bu always contemplated what she actually saw in him. Did she like the bad, _bad_ boy attitude? Or was she only dating him because she knew he could offer her protection from any would-be bullies? He supposed he would never know. After all, there was no way he was going to ask her something so… soppy. Shit. Why couldn't he just accept that the fates had played in his favor this once?

"What'chu grinnin' bout boss?" asked Dian Wei, who was dumber than eight short planks and proud of it, rubbing a beefy hand over his equally beefy head – which had been devoid of hair since the day he turned eight.

"None o' your business," Lu Bu grumbled, sneering crudely.

Dian Wei just grinned in response and turned his attention instead to Zhang Fei, who was swigging straight vodka freely from a battered Evian water bottle – a trick he had been using everywhere he went for the past five years.

The sound of 'Peanut Butter Jelly Time' filling the alley made them all jump with shock, before each trying to hide their embarrassing flinches with faux-coughing and fidgeting. Lu Bu yanked his BlackBerry out of his jean pocket, his eyes automatically lighting up when he read the name displayed. Diao Chan.

"Hey, why don' you losers leave me in peace for a moment," Lu Bu commanded Dian Wei and Zhang Fei in a gruff tone, one he deliberately used so that they wouldn't detect the happiness he was feeling inside.

"Sure thing boss. Feel free to gush away to your lovebird. Just make sure to send kissies for me!" Zhang Fei chuckled, with Dian Wei guffawing in agreement.

Lu Bu gave them both a rude gesture, only pressing the 'receive' button when he was sure they were out of earshot.

"Hey, Sugarplum," he mumbled into the phone, resting his back against the cold brick wall.

"Hi, Mister Twinkles!" Diao Chan's sweet voice tittered from the other end. "I've missed you! Have you missed me?"

Lu Bu gave one more quick peek around for his so-called comrades before he responded to his girlfriend's rather embarrassing question. " 'Course I have, snookums. Every day we've been apart."

As their conversation got more and more fluffy, Lu Bu found himself immensely relieved that nobody was aware of how they conversed with one another in private. Because if anyone ever found out… God! He's reputation as a bad boy? It'd disappear quicker than a meatbun in front of Xu Zhu…

**Monday,  
The Ma Ranch  
(Ma Family Residence)**

Zhao Yun grinned into the mirror as he noticed his best friend, Ma Chao watching him, with an expression that could only be described as… envy.

"Why the fuck do you always look so good?" Ma Chao grumbled good naturedly, grabbing a stray lock of Zhao Yun's dark hair. "It should be illegal to be this pretty for a guy!"

Ma Chao always seemed to underestimate himself when he was around Zhao Yun, whether that was grades-wise, looks-wise or popularity-wise. "Shut up! You know the girls are always all over you!"

Ma Chao snorted. "Yeah, but only 'coz they wanna get closer to you! Admit it Yun. It's as if you have the words 'Babe Magnet' tattooed across your freakin' forehead!"

"Nah, the girls definitely dig _you_ more. It's because you're more of a rebel than I am. And you know how much women dig bad boys," Zhao Yun frowned, it was a cliché that was unfortunately true. And incredibly unfair. What was it about idiots like Gan Ning and Lu Bu that had all the girls weak at the knees?

Ma Chao chuckled. "Oops! Sorry 'bout that, Mister Valedictorian, 4.9 GPA!"

Zhao Yun rolled his eyes, slapping Ma Chao lightly on the back of his head, which was currently obscured by an odd looking hat. "For Gods sake, take that thing off! It makes you look like a cross between a paintbrush and a meatbun!"

Ma Chao raised a dark eyebrow in surprise. "What, this? No way, dude! It makes me look awesome! I got it in a sale the other day. It's wicked!"

Zhao Yun sniggered. "What sort of a sale? Garbage?" Almost as quickly as he had said it he ducked down, to avoid the arm Ma Chao rapidly sent in his direction. Geez, it was so much fun winding Chao up!

When they had finished tussling, Ma Chao glanced at his Rolex watch, which had been a present from one of his ex-girlfriend's, who had been as dumb as two rocks but whose father had been a mega-millionaire. He groaned when he noticed the time. "Come on nerdy loser. We gotta make tracks, 'else we're gonna be late on our first day." He paused, adopted a mock-prissy voice and continued. "And what would _that_ do for your currently perfect school record?"

"Piss off, loser," Zhao Yun grumbled, unable to hide the grin on his lips. "That's all your good for – driving fast."

Ma Chao snorted. "Better than being the best at repelling the chicks like _you_, sweet Yunny."

Zhao Yun raised an eyebrow. "Oh so _now_ I'm crap at getting girls then, huh? Funny how much your opinion's changed in the last… fifteen seconds!"

Ma Chao smiled dryly, as he grabbed his car keys from off the wooden drawers. "Yeah. My pop tells me I need a lobotomy everyday."

**A rather congested Freeway… Somewhere sort of close to High School…  
(Sun Ce, Sun Quan & Sun Shang Xiang)**

"Ce, come on, we're going to be late!" The second-born (and most irritating) of the Sun family kids, Quan, complained bitterly. "We've been stuck in this exact spot for the past fifteen minutes and thirty-four seconds!"

Sun Ce turned around from the driver's seat to glare at his younger brother. "Keep your dorky panties on, dude. Don't you see I'm trying my best here?"

"I don't _wear_ panties, you idiot!" Quan scowled in response, tapping a foot impatiently against the passenger seat, which his sister currently occupied.

"Cut that out, loser, 'else I'll tie them up with that dorky belt you're wearing," Shang Xiang grumbled. "And is there ever a time when you stop complaining?"

Quan didn't bother to respond, instead glaring grumpily out of the slightly parted window, which was lightly condensed from the early morning dew. It was often hard being the only real academic out of three children, whilst the other two were awesome and popular athletes. Ce, for a start, was perhaps the most popular guy in school and Shang Xiang had come as a Freshman last year and managed to fit right in, while he, who had joined the school a year after Ce and one prior to Shang Xiang, just trailed along like a rotten corndog, never being noticed by anyone, despite the fact that he too, was related to them both. Hell, he even seemed to disappoint his father, who was always commenting that he would have been perfect if he was 'just a little cooler'.

He breathed a sigh of relief as the road finally began to clear and Ce was able to move again, getting them closer to school. The most humiliating thing to do when you were a high academic like himself (although Ce and Shang Xiang just called him a nerd) was to start the school year off with a late pass. Especially if, like him, you were trying with everything you had to be valedictorian next year, when the current seniors drifted off to who-cares-where.

They came to the school five minutes later, finally leaving the heavily congested freeway that had caught them that morning because Ce had been too busy in front of the mirror admiring himself.

Without a word to his siblings, Quan yanked open the car door and slid out, slamming it behind him. The school building in front of him was exactly how he had remembered it. Feeling rather refreshed now that he was out in the open and away from his constantly infuriating brother and sister, Quan began to walk up to the front entrance, humming a jaunty tune that had been playing on the radio whilst they had been waiting. He was so lost in his own world that he didn't notice one of Lu Bu's meatheads, a monster of a man – Zhang Fei, watching him with a sneer on his lips.

"Hey, weedy? Where's your protection today?" The older teen asked, an Evian bottle held tightly in one meaty hand. Evian his ass. There was no way Sun Quan believed that the liquid inside _that _battered bottle was actually H2O.

"Leave me alone, Fei," Sun Quan mumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up. When it came to the bullies of the school, you were either loved or hated. There was no in-between. And talking back to any of them would usually leave you with one of two things: A broken nose _or_ the utmost respect from the entire school. Sun Quan hoped desperately for the latter.

"Leave ya alone?" Fei chuckled, reaching out with one incredibly steriod-esque arm and dragging Sun Quan by the hood of his coat closer towards him. The harsh movement ripped the appendage off the windbreaker and into Zhang Fei's beefy hands. The older boy sneered at the loose fabric for a moment before throwing it onto the floor and using his boot to grind against it. "And why would I do that, dork?"

"Because being a bully doesn't pay!" Sun Quan whimpered, making an effort to keep all his folders tightly in his hands.

Zhang Fei seemed to find that comment hilarious and spent the next twenty seconds bent double, tears of mirth falling from his piggy eyes. Sun Quan winced as the bell rang, signalling the start of homeroom. It seemed like if he got out of here alive, he was going to be late after all. what a truly _perfect_ start.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**The Portakabins (a.k.a. The Smoking Area)  
First Period  
(Gan Ning)**

Gan Ning gazed blankly onto the school playing field, where Coach Xiahou was currently drilling a class of Juniors. Inhaling from the thin spliff he held in his mouth, he felt the weed instantly relax his muscles. School had been an unimportant part of his life for… around two years now. Since then, he had forgotten to care about any of his grades and because of that, probably had a GPA that rivalled Lu Bu's – _not_ an easy feat.

He only attended school now to get away from it all. Who cared if most people were too scared of his 'reputation' to even talk to him? He wasn't looking to be popular, like Sun Ce. Just being himself was enough for now.

Running a hand absently through his spiky dark hair, Gan Ning continued to watch as Coach Xiahou demonstrated a 'perfect' baseball hit. However, instead of the bat hitting the ball like he had intended, his swing merely connected with thin air, the movement so powerful that the bat swung back around and thwacked him against his hip. Hard.

Gan Ning sniggered in amusement.

"What a dick," he mumbled to himself, throwing his now-finished spliff to the floor and stomping it out violently with one of his battered DM's.

As he was contemplating more trouble he could cause before second period began, a figure strolled past him and his eyes widened with surprise.

It was a girl, who looked around his age, dressed in what looked like an incredibly revealing swimsuit on her top half, leaving _very_ little to the imagination. On her lower half, she was clothed in the tightest hot pants imaginable, which looked more like panties in the length of leg that they hid (or didn't) than mini-shorts. Her hair was long and pale blonde, flowing to mid-back.

"Fuckin' hell, she's hot," Gan Ning murmured loudly to himself, his lewd stare never leaving her incredibly curvy physique. What he would give to have those breasts in his hands and her hot mouth on his hard-

"What the fuck are _you_ lookin' at?" the girl interrupted, a scowl contorting her attractive face.

Gan Ning chuckled again, not deterred in the slightest. She reminded him of himself, never taking shit from anyone else. "Where'd ya learn them manners baby? The jungle?"

"Yeah well, anything's better than that rainforest on your head, asshole," she sneered, her mouth chewing the gum it contained in a truly insolent manner.

Gan Ning watched her turn back around, continuing to head in the way she had been travelling. As if he would let her win that easily!

"Shit sugar, I think ya might have forgotten ya clothes today," he chuckled, jogging slightly to catch up with her swift footsteps.

"Look who's talkin'," she snarled, spinning around so abruptly that Gan Ning got a mouthful of Herbal Essences: Passion Fruit Paradise. She pointed a slender, red-polished index finger at his chest, which was bare under the sleeveless leather jacket he wore open.

Gan Ning said nothing, instead shooting her with a grin, which was wide enough to reveal the gold tooth he had towards the back of his mouth. The girl wasn't impressed.

"Piss off, loser," she snarled, as they passed the gardens, neatly mowed for the new semester. Gan Ning knew they wouldn't remain in that state for long. Give it till… ooh… lunchtime?

"If ya give me ya number baby, I might do jus' that," Ning informed her, never one to hide what he wanted. When it came to women, he got everything. And he was sure this busty blonde would be no exception.

"My number?" she repeated, her tone changing to a soft simper, one that Ning imagined every cheerleader in the school strived to achieve. She flicked her golden locks over one shoulder, her tongue running seductively over her red glossed upper lip. Ning swallowed, the sexy action going straight to his dick.

"Uh… yeah, honey," he stuttered, feeling himself blush slightly, something he hadn't done since fourth grade when he had peed his pants after being dared by Ce to hold his bladder after drinking eight whole bottles of Sunny D in a row. Gan Ning swore that he could. It turned out he couldn't. And even now, Ce still called him Sunny D.

The girl said nothing in response, her finger instead moving to his chest where it began trawling up and down his torso in a way that sent shudders running down his spine. "Hey, I can give you something even better sweetie, if you want it," she whispered, her voice husky.

"What?" Ning managed to spit out, his voice barely audible. One more touch and he swore, he would make a mess in his boxers.

"HUO!" She suddenly screeched at the top of her lungs, making Gan Ning flinch ever-so-slightly. "C'mere boy!"

Ning frowned as he felt the ground beneath them shake a bit. Then his eyes widened. Coming towards them at full speed was a huge monster of a man, his thick black hair splaying behind him as he galloped (literally, as in, he was doing his Charge attack from DW4… y'know that one that freaks you out big time whenever he does it when you're not on his team and just a little bit even when you are? Well, it freaks _me_ out anyhow…)

Only when he reached them both did he stand up on his legs, to his full height of… way, _way _taller than Gan Ning's own five feet-eleven and a half . "Yes sweetheart?" he asked the blonde chick, his dark eyes wide with a willingness to please. Ning scoffed loudly. What a dick.

"Honey, this guy is trying to hit on me, even when I don't want him too!" The girl whined, suddenly sounding a whole lot like Xiao Qiao, Sun Ce's girlfriend's annoying lil' sis.

The huge man frowned, his massive form towering over Ning in a way that was meant to intimidate. "Hey, how about you leave my girl alone, mister! She's all mine!"

"Yeah?" Ning sneered, staring into the guy's eyes and ignoring the crick in his neck from having to look up so high. "And who's gonna make me? Ya think _you_ deserve her, you giant… dickwad? Huh?"

Huo's angry pout was incredibly similar to that of a baby that hadn't gotten its own way. "D'you even know who I am?"

Ning raise one dark eyebrow in amusement. "Does it look like I-" he suddenly stopped, as something dawned on him. "Oh shit, aren't'cha the gardener?"

"Yeah!" Huo slammed his fists onto his hips in a proud way. "I'm the fiftieth Meng in a whole family of Mengs who…"

His girl groaned. "Oh, shut up, asswipe! Nobody wants to hear your family's shitty life story." She turned to eye Ning in slight interest before gazing intently back at Meng Huo. "Now, are you gonna beat the shit outta him or not?"

Meng Huo frowned again, looking incredibly uncomfortable. "Uh… well, I _would _honey, but he _is_ still a kid after all and it took me three years to work up the qualifications to get this position so-" he stopped abruptly as the blonde chick raised one brown hand in his face.

"Y'know what? Forget it, _Shrek_. Seems a gal can't even get her man to stand up for her anymore. Well, whatever." She turned to Ning, raising her eyebrows meaningfully. "So, pick me up after last period, alright? At the gates. You got a car?"

"Uh… s-sure," Ning stammered, hardly believing his luck.

"Good," she nodded, looking pleased. "Later." Both Ning and Huo watched her saunter off, her hips swaying suggestively with every step.

"Baby, wait!" Huo sounded like he was a nanometre away from breaking into uncontrollable tears. "Honey, what are ya doin'?"

All he received in reply was a one finger salute. Ning snickered. He'd changed his mind. She wasn't like him at all. She was a whole lot better.

**Philosophy  
2****nd****Period  
(Sun Ce)**

"It sucks havin' Philosophy in the morning, right Yu?" Sun Ce grumbled, flopping back in his hard-backed chair. "It means you gotta like… think _deep_ when your brain hasn't even eaten yet!"

Zhou Yu couldn't help but smile at his best friend's choice of words. He had long since given up trying to correct his appalling grammar. "Ce, when do you _ever_ 'think deep'?" he teased, his eyes sparkling a little behind his wire-framed glasses.

Ce punched the other boy gently in his arm, knowing how much he complained if he was a little over-the-top in his playful attack. "Shut up, Yu!"

Zhou Yu winced as Ce's 'gentle' blow came a scant inch from landing on his tender vaccination scabs. "Careful, Ce! You almost hit my vaccinations!"

Ce scoffed. "I can't believe you got 'em done anyways, Yu. Why the heck did you think you had _smallpox_ anyway? I swear that got evaporated in like… the year 200!"

Zhou Yu rolled his eyes. "_Eradicated_ Ce, _not_, 'evaporated'. And I was only being cautious. I had two bumps on my face. That could have been the start of something gruesome!" He shuddered at the thought.

Ce scoffed at his best friend's extreme wariness. "I think those were called _pimples_, loser. Just 'coz you're baby-ass smooth face has been free from the horrors of spots all these years, doesn't mean you'll _never_ get one. Geez!"

"Ssh!" Zhou Yu raised a finger to his perfect cupid's bow lips. "Mister Sima has started the lesson and you know how stressed he gets when he thinks the class isn't paying attention."

Ce snorted. "Reminds me o' someone else I know." Zhou Yu scowled at the barely disguised meaning.

"Now that you _fools_ have finally silenced yourselves," Mister Sima spoke, his eyes scanning the class like lasers. "We can start a new topic. Open your textbooks to page 23. Now!"

"Geez," Ce grumbled under his breath again, his tone distinctly sarcastic. "Nice to see you too, Mister Sima. My break was great thanks, what about yours?"

Mister Sima's eyes raised from his own textbook, narrowing when he noticed Ce. "You, Sun Boy, _silence_!"

Ce raised his hands in the air in mock-surrender, his green eyes rolling with dismay. "Alright, alright, calm down, sir. Don't get that dodgy hat in a twist!"

The whole class tittered nervously, all their eyes still glued to Mister Sima, worried about what he would do next.

Sima Yi began to practically bubble with fury. "YOU!" he screeched, his eyes wide with fury. "GET TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. NOW!"

Sun Ce jumped up from his chair, a grin splitting his face. "Sure thing, bossman."

"Not _you_, Sun Boy!" Mister Sima growled, motioning for Ce to sit back down. "YOU!"

"Me?" A quiet boy named Zhuge Liang confirmed, eyes wide with disbelief. "But… I didn't do anything wrong, sir!"

"I heard you laughing!" Mister Sima snarled, stomping one odd genie-type shoe in anger. " I won't be disrespected in my OWN class! Now get OUT!"

Zhuge Liang could say no more. Hurriedly picking up his huge rucksack and folders, he rapidly fled from the room. They could all hear him sobbing as he ran through the corridor.

"Now, you imbeciles," Mister Sima said, his posture relaxed once more. "Page 23, was it not?"

**Biology  
3****rd****Period  
(Ling Tong… & Co.)**

"Welcome everybody," Miss Zhen smiled as her class hurried to their seats, all of them a surprising five minutes ahead of time. "You're all very early? What's the occasion?"

"Your tits," Ling Tong mumbled from his chosen spot at the back of the class. The rest of the boys on his table sniggered. It wasn't a lie.

Miss Zhen frowned. "Sorry?"

"He said, we were all twits," Sun Ce shot the teacher his winning smile. "So us comin' early should hopefully make us like… clever, y'know?"

Miss Zhen smiled again. "Oh, you boys." She went forward to the front desk before leaning over, resting her face in her hands. The action did wonders for her voluptuous bosom, squishing her breasts so close together that they were almost falling out of her low cut top.

"Jesus!" Ling Tong half-moaned. "Now is _not_ the time to be gettin' a hard-on!"

Gan Ning, who was _very_ unwillingly sitting next to him, sneered. "What a _gay_ thing to say when you're sitting on a table full of dudes. Asshole."

Ling Tong glowered. "Oh, Gan Ning, is that you? So you've _actually_ decided to come to class for once in your life? What happened? You only just realised that it might be more than sensible to get some qualifications after resitting for the past what… four years?"

"Ning won that match easily," Sun Ce confirmed. "Better luck next time, Tong."

"What?" Tong asked incredulously. "It wasn't even a competition!"

Ce shook his head. "Nah, but if it was, Ning would'a won."

Ling Tong groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "But it _wasn't,_ so therefore it's _irrelevant_, Ce!"

"Irrelevant, Ce! Wha, Wha, Wha!" Gan Ning mocked. "Go back to your Mama, Ling Tong. Heard she was findin' it hard after discoverin' that your Pa had cheated on her with the janitor." He paused to snigger before continuing. "And what's even worse? I swear, she's at _least_ seventy-eight!"

The rest of the table burst into laughter. Tong's face paled before turning bright red. Ning was immediately on his guard, expecting the younger boy to fly into one of his usual sissy rages. But what came next was totally unexpected.

"Gods, I _hate_ you Gan Ning!" Tong sobbed, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks. He grabbed his bag in a rush, making his way to the classroom door as quickly as he could. But before he left, he stopped in the open doorway, his eyes watching Ning hotly. "Gan Ning, one day I _swear_, your head'll be mine!"

Miss Zhen looked confused, her slender eyebrows furrowing. "What on earth is wrong with him? You boys haven't been cruel now, have you?"

Sun Ce shook his head, trying his hardest to look innocent. "No ma'am, not us. He's just experiencing-" Ce paused for a moment, frowning in confusion. "What's that word again? Y'know, when ya love someone and they don't love ya back?"

"Unrequited?" Ma Dai suggested, looking up from the gun he was sketching on the desk. Everyone promptly ignored him.

"Unrequited?" Miss Zhen repeated unsurely.

"Yeah, _that's_ it ma'am!" Sun Ce grinned. "Tong's just goin' through _that _at the moment."

"Oh, the poor thing!" Miss Zhen pressed one perfectly manicured hand to her heart and therefore, her breasts. Every boy (barring Ma Dai) in the whole class immediately lost their current train of thought. "With whom?"

"Uh…" Sun Ce hurriedly scanned the room for someone convincing he could use. His eyes caught on a photo of Miss Zhen, posing prettily. Next to her, Mister Guan the History teacher had his eyes crossed, his tongue sticking out and his long beard wrapped around his head in a makeshift turban. Underneath, the caption read 'Graduation 2008 – Those Bastards Couldn't Leave Soon Enough'.  
"You?"

Miss Zhen gasped with shock. "Me?"

Ce's eyes widened as he realised he'd ratted on Tong. "Uh… nah, not _you _! I mean Mister Guan!" He gasped as he realised what he'd said. "Oh shit!"

But Miss Zhen was already making comforting noises. "Oh, that poor boy! I know _just_ what it's like to have a huge crush on a school teacher!"

Gan Ning smirked in interest, still wiping his eyes from the tears of mirth he had been shedding at Ce's stupidity. "Yeah? Who did ya like then, miss?"

Miss Zhen's cheeks flushed prettily as she reminisced. "Oh, he was such a handsome man! That constant scowl, the way his moustache turned down at the corners, his deep voice…" she paused for a moment to sigh heavily, her blue eyes heavenwards. "He was such a hero amongst the chaos of my teenage life!"

"Sounds like Mister Cao, the Politics teacher," Ce snorted, half to himself.

Zhen Ji gasped, her cheeks flushing even brighter. "No, of course not! Why on earth would you think something like that? I didn't say that, did I?"

Ce frowned, confused at her highly tetchy tone. "Nah. I was just saying, ma'am."

Miss Zhen looked slightly more relieved, beginning to breathe normally once more. "Now that's enough chitter-chatter everybody. Today we're starting a new topic. The sexual reproduction cycle-"

"Yes!" Cheered Ce, Ning and just about every other boy in the room (barring Ma Dai).

"…of the frog," Miss Zhen finished.

"Shit!" Groaned Ce, Ning and just about every other boy in the room (barring Ma Dai).

"Yay!" Grinned Ma Dai. Everyone promptly ignored him.


End file.
